


Glimpses

by rusalka_dances_the_polka



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-06-27 22:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15694245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rusalka_dances_the_polka/pseuds/rusalka_dances_the_polka
Summary: As much as he liked to talk about bigger pictures, a look into the future could only ever be made through a small window. And he may be not the only one able to open it...





	1. Hellseherin

Merlin had forgotten long ago how to regret the mistakes he made. There was no such thing as a wrong decision- or a right one for that matter. Destiny had a way of entangling its prey in an inextricable net, where lies became indistinguishable from truths. And in a life as long as his, an abundance of regretable decisions was impossible to avoid. He accepted centuries ago that regret was futile, that looking back could destroy your will to live. And he had to live to protect life, by all consequences.

Life demanded to go forward, always forward.

He had a gift of looking ahead, not the power to change the past. No one had that. Not really. Probably the reason for his cynicism, if he was honest.

So he had absolutely no reason to feel uneasy about the role he had played in his young hunters transformation. It had been a necessary sacrifice. One that only a human with a heart like Jim would have been able to make. That had not changed about him. And in time his heart would make the boy see, that saving the world was worth the sacrifice. The amulets magic would not have put that burden on the shoulders of someone lesser.

Only a being changed by magic could change the fate of the world. One that bridged the different worlds. He had seen him in his visions, he had heard destiny's whisper.  
Still. Merlin felt the incomprehensible need to defend his acts towards the boy. Probably because Jim was not simply submissive in his compliant nature, striving to please. He held his own, dealing out as good as he got. He was a good person that treated others the same way he wanted to be treated. With kindness and respect. And he demanded that without using force, but with stoic assertiveness. The wizard was sure that was half the reason how a whelp like him had managed to work with the trolls for as long as he did without going crazy.

So when they took their first break to their trip to New Jersey, Merlin sat down beside the young half troll to talk. Jim had told the others that he would watch the entrance of the cave for possible intruders, but Merlin guessed he also wanted to see the morning light that flooded the patch of grass in front of the cave.

Only a flicker of his pointed ears showed the wizard that the trollhunter recognized him when he sat down.The young man- or half man, half troll, avoided him since they had reunited after the battle and he certainly could not understand why. If anything, the boy should have realized during the battle that his new body had been the winning factor. Sure... He had been injured pretty badly and his friends had been a great help as he had deduced from the conversations he had overheard. All to be accounted for, in a battle for the ages. But even in the unlikely event of surviving Gunmar and Angor Rot together in his human form, there was no way he would have been able to fight Morgana- especially after she had stolen the rest of Merlins magic.

So for the first time in forever he told someone that he was sorry. And he was. He was sorry, for he knew that the boy would struggle with his fate for some time to come. He also told him that he had the best chances find closure. He had good friends, human and troll alike. A mother and a surrogate father that loved him and a lovely companion to boot. They all had to thank him for killing the world's greatest threats and defeating Morgana herself.

Merlin was caught of guard though when Jim chuckled and looked at him with a slightly sardonic glint to his eyes.

"You know, you were right about fighting Gunmar and the Gumm-Gumms. There were more than a few moments where I could have likely been killed, had I been human. And fighting like this?" He looked down at his still armored arms before he continued "It's incredible, a rush. I've never been able to deal out that much damage in such a short time. The duel with Gunmar? It was challenging, I admit it. But killing Gunmar with this... body... To be honest: It was not the hardest thing I've ever done before. With a little help from... oh say- a powerful wizard... I'm pretty sure, I would have been able to deal with him even in my human form."

Merlin blinked at the half troll who had his eyes narrowed at him. Merlin frowned in return and answered "And what about Morgana, boy? She had to be defeated as well. Do you really believe-"

"Oh that, yeah..." Jim interrupted the wizard, "First of all, Morgana was only freed because you wanted it. We could have dealt with that problem at another time. And second... I have not defeated Morgana." Jim's slight scowl changed into a smirk before he continued "Don't you get it? That was all my friends- and Angor Rot, to be honest. We were always strongest as a team!" The trollhunter watched Merlins face fall and continued before the confused wizard could ask any more questions.

"Morgana threw me around like a rag doll. I was already pretty banged up and if Blinky, Aaaargh, Toby and Claire had not intervened, she would have ended me pretty fast. My main contribution to her defeat was throwing myself in front of my friends - since piercing her and Angor Rot didn't work." He paused before he deadpanned "You know... knowing that daylight can't cut her would have been a help..."

Merlin ignored Jim's scathing remark. The puzzle pieces were falling into place... He had been told that Morgana was banished to the shadow realm and the Scath Hrün had been destroyed - a fitting fate for the sorceress who had forsaken her own physical existence to become a shadow herself, just so she could stay young forever. Nonetheless he feared it was a temporary solution- again, but at least a better one than the last.

He had supposed that Morgana had been weakened enough through their battle for Jim to push her through a portal Claire had made and with the shadow staff destroyed, the key was lost. This was not what his vision of the future had shown him at all. He had seen a trollhunter defeat Morgana. A hunter not troll. Not human. His champion with one foot in each world. "A being, touched and changed by magic will conquer the sorceress", a voice had whispered in his mind. He looked at his trollhunter.

"If you were not able to win the fight, then how did your friends...?"

"Claire", the young half troll simply said. He turned around and looked towards the back of the cave where the girl had found an alcove to sleep in "Angor Rot held on to the witch and Claire formed a portal. She tried to push them in and when that didn't work, she supposedly jumped her and then both of them vanished. Somehow she was able to get herself out of the shadow realm. She was also the one who told the others to destroy the Scath Hrün. Toby smashed it with his warhammer." When Jim looked at Merlin again and quietly said "I don't know what I would have done if she had been imprisoned in the shadow realm again..." it sent a shiver down the wizards back. Something about his eyes when he said that unnerved Merlin...

Human eyes in a trollish face. Like a memorial for the boy he had been before.

In that moment it dawned on Merlin, that if the girl would have been lost to the shadows, his champion would tear down the gates of hell to get her back. Consequences be damned as well as anybody who stood in his way...

Jim suddenly stood and looked out of the cave again, as he said "You know. I don't think keeping watch makes much sense. If a human stumbles upon this cave, seeing me will just give them a heart attack. Sooo why don't you stay here and make sure we're not getting any unwelcome guests while _I_... will get some rest." He gave the wizard a mischievous smile before he turned and walked towards his sleeping girlfriend. Merlin chuckled. Humour was a first step to forgiveness. At least he hoped so..

He was also glad to be left alone with his thoughts.

If the trollhunter had not banished the witch he could not deny the boy his resentment. But when he thought about it... Jim had been older in his vision. Maybe his time hadn't come yet... maybe the real battle against Morgana was not yet fought. And if this thought was correct... Morgana _would_ be back.

Past and future are ficle. Like constantly changing ideas in the mind of a scatty doter. And as much as he liked to talk about bigger pictures, a look into the future could only ever be made through a small window. Something had altered fates design and now not only his champion was different. _Everyone_ was.

Jim's chubby little friend was actually useful - and alive, Blinky was trollmarkets leader and Aaarrrgh alive as well but the real surprise had been Claire. His visions had not focused on the boys friends. The human trollhunter had been the centre of his attention. The Jim in his vision worked alone, his friends either long gone or a side note in his life. This girl however? She was unexpected. And far stronger than Merlin would have asumed anyone in the trollhunters circle to be. 

Claire was magnificient. She had been posessed by Morgana herself and had managed to somehow cut their bond. He heard that story and could feel it in her aura. It was a feat he would have deemed absolutely impossible for an untrained witch. And not only that, but the girl had been able to incorporate Morganas power into her own talents. Had taken a hold of the Scath Hrün! Her soul hadn't been tainted by Morgana. She had conquered the witch by taking what had controlled her, adapted and then made it her own.

That power made him wary. As he had witnessed such force only once before...

But Morgan le Fey was not like Claire. She had never been the innocent young lass she had pretended to be. The trollhunters beloved truly was innocent in every way. Headstrong, fearless, yes, but also new to the world. She had shown the power to sever ties with a true force of magic, but Merlin knew she would never be completely immune to Morganas powers again. She was too sensitive to magic.  
He thought about Jim's words: If Claire had been able to tear her way out of the shadow realm without using the Scath Hrün directly... Morgana would know it. Claire was now the key to Morgana's prison.

Teaching her how to use and especially how to control her powers was crucial to the world's safety. If the shadows had become a part of her, Merlin needed to make sure that she would learn to control the light as well.

The future was an open book once more and Merlin did not know what it would bring, but he knew one thing for sure: Claire could one day be known as the worlds most powerful sorceress.  
And that made the wizard think about something else...

His vision had been about a being touched by magic. Changed by it. He had seen Jim in his changed form, yes. Seen him fight like no human or troll ever could. The whispering though, that had been female.

A voice that had sounded suspiciously like the trollhunters beloved...

He turned to look back towards the back of cave, where the half troll had laid down beside the girl.


	2. Vorsehung

Looking into mirrors was still hard. Not that he had had many chances to do so these past few weeks. They were mainly walking through woods and cavesystems throughout night, only seeking human settlements to pick up supplies for the two full humans that accompanied the trek of trolls on their way to New Jersey.

The only things Jim needed were a couple of clothes after he was finally able to let go of the armour. It had taken entirely too long for his liking. Blinky and Merlin deduced that the reason for that was not only caused by the stress of his transformation but also his injuries. Luckily his new body came not only with the endurance of a troll, but also a humans healing factor.

Another human thing he very much craved was a nice hot shower. Which was also the reason he was looking in a mirror right now.

His new skin was as tough as that of a troll but it also had kept some of its human qualities. Unfortunately, transpiration was one of them. It was just his luck, that fate decided to take the ability to walk in daylight from him but let him keep puberty stink... The ensuing combination of that with a trolls tendency to smell like musty, moldy caves drove him up the walls. Especially since his sense of smell had heightened dramatically as well.

They had stumbled upon a cabin in the woods last night, not far from a little town near the border of Oklahoma. When they broke in to see if they could find anything to eat for Claire and Merlin, they quickly realized that the cabin was rarely used. There was nothing more than sugar, salt and a dusty can of tuna. To their surprise they realized that the secluded little house had electricity when Claire tried a cutout and even better: It also had working heating and running water, complete with a simple but completely equipped bathroom...

At first they only wanted to use that chance to wash up, but then it was decided that they could use the cabin during the day when their group had to take a break anyway. At dawn the trolls retired further back into the river valley behind the cabin, since the gnarly trees surrounding it would not provide enough shade for the bigger trolls. To Jim's surprise Merlin joined the trolls- after the wizard took an excessively long shower and made use of the "joys of indoor plumbing". That left Claire and him alone in the little house.

The steamy air blurred the mirrors surface and Jim reached out to wipe a patch away, uncovering a clear view at his new face. He prodded at his blueish skin, then his lips before he tried a hesitant smile. His canines protruding even more. The smile quickly turned into a scowl.

Nope. Still hideous.

He sighed and looked away before he shook his head like a dog. Getting the water out of his thick, messy mane was almost impossible with his horns in the way. He pushed a hand into his hair, gripping it.

Still wet. He groaned.

He then pulled on the pair of sweatpants Claire had gotten him. It was the first time he wore them. Jim prefered the pair of jeans she had gotten as well and still fit his, thankfully, rather human looking legs. Even though they weren't as skinny anymore- at least he thought so. Claire still thought he was a noodle.

She had insisted that he would need something more comfortable as well now and then.

He tried to put on a cheerful or at least neutral expression before he exited the bathroom.

The door to the bathroom faced the door to a small bedroom where Claire already appeared to sleep. He turned left toward the living room and saw an empty, opened can waiting for him on the kitchen counter. His breakfast. Or dinner. However one wanted to see it. He grabbed the can from the countertop and scarfed it down in a few bites before he crossed the room to the other side to lay down on the couch.

"Jim?" he heard Claire say from the other room. Getting up with a tired groan, he stood and looked into the bedroom where Claire shot him an expectant look from the bed.  
"Yeah? You need something?" He asked. Even though he knew what she was probably about to say. "Yeah Romeo. You. There's enough space on this bed, you know? Don't tell me you wanted to sleep on the sofa. And don't tell me you're not tired. I can see your eyes."

Jim swallowed awkwardly "Claire, that's nice but you don't have to look out for me. I'm okay. I can sleep on the sofa..." She raised her eyebrow at him "I'm not looking out for you, it just doesn't make sense. There's enough space here! You don't have to curl up on the couch. And don't tell me you're feeling shy about sleeping in a bed with me. We slept beside each other every other night for the last weeks. I know you can keep your hands to yourself." She gave him a sly smile before she added "At least while you sleep."

"Yeah, but this is different. This is... a bed." He sighed, but Claire just rolled her eyes "If you don't get your butt over here Jim Lake jr, I'll just follow you to your sofa and lay myself on top of you if neccessary. I know you'll be unbearable tonight if you sleep alone." That made him grin against his will. No sense in arguing with his girlfriend. There was no way of stopping her anyway. So he laid down beside her on the too soft matress that gave more way to his weight than he was used to. She snuggled up against him immediately and closed her eyes, smiling.

He tried to drift off himself until he heard the girl in his arms sigh. When he looked down at her, he found her returning the look. "Jim, you've been rubbing my back for at least ten minutes now. It's nice, don't get me wrong. But... do you have something on your mind?"

He didn't really want to talk about it. They had already talked so much about the things he was going through that it started to feel like therapy. On the other hand... they had promised to be open with each other after they got her out of the shadow realm and then again after he got over the first new developments, following his transformation.

So he swallowed and tried to think of a way to explain. If he merely said that he was ugly, she would just tell him that she loved him however he looked... He sat up against the headboard and pulled her with him.

"I still feel... I still get startled by my own reflection." He groaned and it sounded more like a growl. He waved his head from one side to the other as he said "I know we already talked about all of this... what I'm going through and how I feel about this new body, about my fears and scars, but it's not about that. I know you don't mind how I look now but... even if it sounds vain or something- I am ugly! I got an ugly blue face and these bis ass canines and horns like a ram and I'm afraid that you'll get tired of looking at my ugly troll face one day. I can't help but feel you deserve better even if it makes me feel sick to my stomach to just think about giving up on what we have." He rubbed his hand down his face and looked down, avoiding her eyes and feeling ashamed. He knew that Claire was better than that. She told him she loved him after he had changed, she had followed him into the wilderness without making him ask and without making him feel selfish for being happy about that.

She had told him he wasn't hideous.

Before he had taken the step into the pitch black water that day, thinking of her hurt... differently. He was affraid to hurt his mother and to betray Toby, to dissapoint Blinky... but Claire? He felt loss. He saw no way how their relationship, the romantic part at least, was supposed to survive if he became someone else. But she chose him, even in a new body and he was incredibly thankful to be able to keep this connection to his human self through her love.

Still... he could not see whatever it was she saw and it gave him a headache.

He felt her small hand reach up to his cheek and turn his face towards her, instead of looking at him though, she looked down herself and said "You know Jim, maybe I have a small confession to make that might help you with that." When she looked up at him he raised his brows at her in turn. What was she trying to say? Noticing his confused expression, she rolled her eyes and sighed "Let me explain..." then she brought her fingers to her lips in thought before she continued "I told you before that I think I might have had visions way before I met you, right? Only that I never realized what they were, that I always thought they were just dreams, you know?" He nodded. They had that conversation after Merlin started to give her lessons. He hadn't been very... keen about the old wizard teaching his girlfriend.

"Well..." she said, "when I first saw you like this? I recognized you. I had dreams about you Jim. In your troll form."

"You what!?" Jim looked at her perplexedly. This was... unforseen. A tiny part of him felt weirdly flattered, that the girl of his dreams had dreamed about him. A bigger part was very outweirded by the fact she had forseen his transformation... He couldn't help wondering what could have been, had she realized earlier that it was him...

A blush crept up her features and she brushed a streak of hair out of her face "Yeah... it's crazy, I know. That's why I never said anything, not even after your transformation. I don't exactly remember when they started, but I know now that they must have stopped sometime after I changed schools, so I almost forgot about them. I think I must have been eleven or twelve when I had a lot of them." She chuckled "I kind of dubbed you 'the friendly devil', because of the horns, you know?"

He was still flabbergasted... and excited. Claire had visions of his future! He gripped her shoulder and said "Claire! That could be a strategic advantage! What were those dreams about?" Maybe she had even seen his enemies? Those defeated and those he would have to face in the future...

"Uh..." she answered and looked down again, chuckling a bit as she said "they were pretty vague and blurry to be honest. Mostly I remember you smiling at me. And Laughing. You, cooking something in a kitchen. Dancing... flowers, bathing in a river together, you playing horsie with Enrique, holding hands while following a dark tunnel lightened up by chrystals and looking at the stars..." she blushed again, then looked up at him "Jim, I think... I've seen our future together."

He blinked at her dumbstruck and she quickly added "Totally dumb I know, right? I could have forseen our battle against Morgana or whatever trouble awaits us in the future... instead... it's some romantic goo goo crap." She chuckled again sheepishly and cleared her throat looking down.

"Are you kidding me?" He whispered, looking wide eyed at her while she looked down, scratching her nail against a little stain on her leggins. He felt a wave of affection for the girl beside him wash over him and a warm, bubbly feeling settled in his stomach. He hugged her against him and pressed his lips to hers for a short kiss. Pulling away from her he said grinning "That. Is. Great! Do you have any idea how good it feels to hear that my life won't completely consist of beating up manic troll overlords and crazy assasins and evil sorceresses? I'll take aaall the sappy crap I can get- especially if you're involved!" He laughed and his happy outburst was contagious and drew a laugh from her as well.

"Does that mean... um..." He stuttered for a moment and then hesitantly asked "Do you know how far into the future those visions go?"

A wistful smile crept onto her face at his question and she blushed "If you're trying to ask about... I don't know to be honest. Like I said, I've only remember fragments. But let me tell you: You won't have to worry about me growing tired of your face anytime soon." She blushed again and grinned coyly, before she snuggled against him and tucked her head underneath his chin. He hugged her against him and laid his hand against her head.

He couldn't see her face but he guessed she was still grinning. He wore a lopsided grin of his own. He wouldn't press her on it, since she seemed a bit embarrassed (and a certain part of him was very curious about that...), but her answer was already good enough for him. It meant they had a future together. She was here and she would stay with him. Which meant he would get to keep some normalcy, something entirely human in his life... They would share moments like this for a long time to come.

His birthday was just a few days away and lately he felt like his last one had been in another life. Back then he struggled to keep it all together, teenage problems and his duties to the hidden world of trolls. Not even a year later and he was made to mourn his humanity. Claires revelation gave him hope for a future that held more than just fighting evil for him. It felt like a heavy stone was lifted from his chest.

A moment later Claire spoke up again.

"Jim... If I'm already making confessions, maybe I should give you one more bit of information as well. It's only fair, I guess." She had sat up again and looked at his face directly. "You know, when I first saw you in school, after I changed over from Oaks Academy? I think I might have recognized your eyes. You know- from my dreams?" He nodded and made a small sound of recognition. If she had dreamed of his troll form, it only made sense. His eyes were pretty much the one thing that had stayed exactly the same about him.

"Well... it's just- I want you to know I didn't just tell you, that I loved you after you transformed, just because I remembered all these dreams and...- And don't you dare use that against me in the future! But it might be that- maybe... I had a tiny, little crush on you right from the moment I first saw you..." She had started to rub the back of her neck, blushing again and looked up at him hesitantly. His surprise held only for a moment before a wide grin crept up his face. Claire boxed his shoulder and told him to not let it get to his head. He laughed and grabbed her fists as she tried to box him again to wipe the smile of his face.

"Claire, relax!" he laughed as she grappled against him. "Let me live a little! Here I thought I pined for you for forever, without you even knowing I exist and now I hear you were into me, before I fell head over heels for you!? Hah!" He laughed out again and squeezed her. She pouted in return "Of course I knew you exist! I saw you in school every day you dork! There was just never a chance to talk to you...- You and Toby were practically sewn together by the hips and you were sooo shy. And being friends with Darcy and especially with Mary is no less attention-consuming." She grinned at him and took his face into her hands "You know, back then I really thought I was a genius for inviting you to the play. You have no idea how jittery I was when you auditioned for Romeo..."

He gave her a playful smile "And then I went and left you hanging during rehearsals... you really should choose your crushes better." She chuckled at his answer, before a thoughtful look appeared on her face "Did I ever tell you... I really have no idea how you managed to memorize your text and school, as well as your troll-hunting duties."

He rolled his eyes and answered "First of: Fourtythree days of missed classes, remember? And second..." He pulled her face towards his till only a breath seperated their lips "I was really motivated to learn those... lines, you know?"

She rolled her eyes at him and chuckled. He closed the space between them, the moment she closed her eyes.


	3. Schicksal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To warn you beforehand: this is gonna be sad...

In the end Claire thought back to their beginning. It was bittersweet irony, really. Looking back she could see the bigger picture, the way destiny had directed their lives like a theatrical drama. Stories would be told about them for centuries to come, while there would nobody be left to remember the stories behind theirs. They had become bigger than the legends that made them who they were. Nobody was left who knew of their origins or able to comprehend fates entanglements of their struggles with those of two innocent imaginery children who gave their lives for each others love, nobody to realize how an old foolish wizard recreated his mistakes, nobody who knew why the legendary man, punished by the gods to carry the weight of the world, was pictured with horns these days. Nobody who'd appreciate the irony of it all. 

Strickler would have been amused. But he wasn't there anymore.

Her head lay upon his chest. "Oh happy dagger. This is thy sheath." she rasped as her hand touched daylight.  
The cold metal dematerialized underneath her fingers and her hand fell lightly upon his armour. Right above the amulett where his human heart lay still. He'd laugh if it were still beating and she would join him. His faible for fatalistic humour had only gotten more nuanced through the centuries.

She'd join him in stillness instead.

She could already feel the magic seep from her bones. Her breathing grew heavy, her heartbeat weaker. She wished she could lift her head to look at him one least time, but it was too late. She'd never see him again, so instead she remebered the live they had.

Such a long life. The world was a beast of a burden and he'd grown tired of carrying it so long ago. Now he could rest, they both could. 

No matter how long they lived she had never forgotten where they came from. One never forgets the first people they loved. The friends and family they had lost and the family- families they made.  
She had to admit: They had spend those first young years quite... humanly. In the beginning there had been the three of them. Toby, Jim and her. She still remembered how she told him, that she could never come in between them. And she didn't, instead Toby and her became great friends. But then Jim and her changed. It never broke their friendship completely appart, but it was never the same again. They went were he couldn't follow. 

Years later Toby liked to call her Yoko Ono in jest. Another joke no one would get anymore. She knew though, that he loved her like a sister. Loved her children like an uncle would, when her own brother forgot about her.

But while she and Jim stayed the same over decades. Toby stayed human. He aged, lived a human live and in the end... they had to say good bye. He had accomplished great things during his lifetime, that they both had to thank him for. But he never became a living legend. He had been forgotten by everyone but them. And they still missed him every day.  
The trollhunter and her had always been cut from the same kind of stone but time let them grow closer together, merged them. And they had had a lot of time... Two different fates that were connected through their uniqueness. 

They loved, they fought, build a home and tore it down, won wars and made live.

She thought of her children and her heart burned one last time.  
Their Children. Nothing had brought them more happiness than bringing them into this world and nothing tore her- and him, more apart than watching them suffer. She knew now why trolls rarely had young. No one who's able to live for centuries wanted to witness what life can do to the lifes you created.

But they hadn't known. They had not even expected that it would be possible. Jim was not human enough to eat an overdone steak, but siring offspring of all things had been possible.

And they had been so, so young. Even though they had been separated for a few years before it happened. They both had transformed, inside and outside. Both had too much on their still narrow shoulders and they had not been able to see a way to stay together without hurting the other. They both tried to live without one another and learned it was not impossible, that they could each go their way without the other one. They thought they'd never be together like lovers again, but when the world needed them to work together again, it was pure chemistry and a wild disarray of feelings and longing for one anothers arms. The only place in the world were they seemed to truly fit in. It was the day before battle. None of them knew whether they'd live.

When she found out, she tried to run away. She was devastated, full of fear and she knew that Jim would never let her go. That he'd never abandon his own child. He should have never found out, but he did. Because back when she first opened that portal to save the trolls, she opened herself. Not only Morgana slipped in that day. By helping her, Jim did too. And a part of him would always stay with her. He'd be able to find her wherever she was for the rest of her days.

So he followed her and begged her to come back and she couldn't outrun him. Not anymore. 

She had tried to live without him but she couldn't get away. Not without hurting him horribly. She couldn't do that and deep down she wanted to be found. Because she didn't want to do this alone. Not without him. 

So they bound their lives together. A deal they made to not only protect their family but also because they wanted it, because it seemed right at that time, because it was just the next step to something that had begun before they even met. She did not know how big of a sacrifice it would be as well. 

Through their bond they were able to empathize with one another, fight like they shared one mind and share the same lifeforce. Claire became able to wield daylight.

She had twins. A boy that looked like his fathers copy and a girl that looked like his mother. With Claires eyes. 

Toby had been ecstatic. Jim had been terrified.  
But he made for an excellent father. He loved his children to bits and that made them his weakspot. The only one that Merlins last Champion ever really had.

For a few precious years they had a family. A real family and all the happiness that came with it. She didn't know it back than, but that kind of happiness was, what would always bring her back around. But something that good, that pure never comes without a few shadowns.

The girl had been too human, too soft for her parents world and she went and lived a human live. All her childhood her daughter had been painfully aware, that she was not like the rest of her family. Neither strong like a troll nor a drop of magic in her bones. So she left. She became a doctor and raised a family of her own. Jim could not have been prouder, but being separated from his child hurt him more than any battle wound he ever aquired. 

The boy was clearly more troll than his sister. And he felt the sense of belonging, that his sister never had. He wanted to follow his fathers footsteps from the moment he could walk. Fiercely protective of his home. His human heritage had it's ups and downs though. He was pale, more vulnerable than his father, bled easier. He had to train harder and did so with the burning ambition he inherited from his mother. But unlike his father he was able to walk in daylight. He was one of the trollhunters most important allies. And one day he made them grandparents of a little boy with six eyes and skinny legs. 

Blinky had been ecstatic. Their son had been terrified.

Who would have ever thought, that they'd have troll-grandchildren?

In the end though, they had to watch their children die in a war between their two worlds. Their daughter died in an attack on the hospital she was working at. Their son died in his fathers arms, just a few steps away from the sunlight that could have saved him from the deathly strike.

Their death tore at Jim, almost destroying the last of his humanity. Had it not been for their bond, he would have lost anything human about him at that time.  
The war lasted decades and the thought that their descendants, both human and troll could fight against each other somewhere out there put them through horrible heartache. Had their human friends and family been still alive, they would have been devastated. Their parents would never had thought this possible after all their children had done for the world. And of all people it was Claires little brother who had been one of the political leaders responsible for the increasing agitation between the species. Though he too had died, before he could witness the full consequences of his words and actions.  
They would never have children again. Never wanted to live through that pain again.

They tried their best to bring peace to the world again. Separated the worlds of magic and humans once again with spells and laws until all connections were cut and all of them had forgotten about one another once more. 

Their success however, lured out new and different threats. Jim was sure they'd figure it out. They always did.  
But Merlin had his own plans... He had grown old, ready to leave the world. And old dogs don't learn new tricks. 

She should have known better. No matter if he was her teacher and had been a confidant for most of her life. She had felt that something was off when he'd payed their home a visit. When she felt Jims hungry eyes on her, it was too late. She had consumed the wine he'd brought them as well...

Claires heart broke when she held her daughter in her arms for the first time. She knew what she would look like when she'd grow up. A spitting image of her mother. With her fathers eyes and horns. The girl was supposed to save the world. Wield Excalibur once more. But while Merlin had foreseen victory. Claire had foreseen her death.  
Merlin had even made sure, that she could not spare that doomed life to be born. And Jim lost his mind when he found out.

The trollhunter couldn't take another blow like that and when he couldn't take revenge on the wizard responsible for his pain, he did what he himself would have never thought possible. He left.  
Claire had to raise their daughter alone. Prepare her for her fate. Train her. Harder than she would ever have wanted to train a child of her own. Teach her the arts of magic. Dark and light alike. And through it all she always feared that fate would take her from her anyway, that all her daughter would ever know would be war and magic and then... death.

In the end her father came to her aid in the battle that would decide her fate. And they won. 

For a tiny fraction in time it had seemed that fate, for once had decided to not devastate its favorite playthings. That they could heal. That they could be a family again.  
It had all been in vain.

Jim did not even get a day to bask in his daughters forgiveness. He'd been so enamoured with her, fascinated by their similarities and by how much she looked like her mother. Claire had not even had the chance to fully admit to herself that she had missed him incredibly, that she still loved him.

They had used magic and her troll heritage to kill their daughter.

Her daughter, who was still a child, who had been able to walk in sunlight all her life and had thought nothing of it, when she ran out of the cave they had found shelter in after that fateful battle. She had only wanted to get some water from a nearby stream, only wanted her parents to have a moment together. Just a simple little task.  
It must have started slowly, the spell taking time to set off. She probably didn't even realize what was happening until it was too late. In the end they had used daylight to kill her. Her daughters life ended like it started. By a trick. 

And her parents where there to helplessly witness how her bright blue eyes turned to stone, while she reached out toward them. Trying to reach the shadows.

Claire stepped out of the cave that day and left Jims agonized wails behind her. 

She raged war on those responsible for her childs death for years, decades to come. Even though they had no more reason to fight anymore. But Claire ravaged the worlds surface and smoked them out of their holes until she had killed almost every last of them. Uncaring for anyone who stood in her way.

The world changed. But it was never enough. Not a day went by that she didn't feel constant, burning pain. Her daughter had rid the world of a curse, now Claire had become one herself.

She wanted to forget who she was and amused herself by an old alias. Shadowdancer. Because none of the light that Merlin had taught her about was left in her anymore.

Claire didn't know back then how they came about this knowledge since Merlin was gone and the trolls hid from the world once more, but somewhere someone told an unlikely group of youths, that only the troll hunter would be able to appease the witch.

They got Jim to fight for her once more. And fight they did. Brutally, till both of them were too broken to fight any longer. Only then, lying on the ground in his arms she finally allowed herself to break completely. For the first time since her childrens deaths she mourned them truly. By remembering her childrens lifes she remembered what it meant to be human. Both of them did.  
And years later when those young heroes needed them once more, they fought together.

They'd never heal again. Their innocence had been lost to the ages. But they'd never forget that life was deserving of protection. That others were still able to know happiness and joy, that every smile in this world was worth all this pain.

And through that, they were able to find their own happiness again.

Over the years that followed they fought time and time again for the safety of those who were innocent. Were separated when she was imprisoned because of her past and it took Jim decades to free her. They were hurt time and time again, but always got up, never backed down. They made mistakes and regreted them, but never stopped trying. They were celebrated and praised, even prayed to, when Claire used almost all her power to save their planet. They raised more children. Those who were abandoned, unique, alone or weak. And they lost them, time and time again. They watched civilisation fall and grow anew and made new allies.

They lived in different places all over the world and learned many new languages. Jim perfected his Spanish by his 130th birthday. By the end of their lives they didn't even quite remember their mother tongue.

Now their allies were gone and old ones had rejoined them. Their troll friends were at their side once more, one last time. And a new trollhunter would be chosen on this battlefield as the legendary eternal knight fell to his knees. The human hearted trollhunter would die and so would the sorceress who altered the worlds fate several times over would too. Her magic let her heart beat for a few more moments, but it was fading. 

The battle around them roared on, explosions rattling the earth and the few trolls noticing the dramatic scene had not a moment to spare. She saw her brother jumping towards them before he was thrown off by a blow. 

Claire could not hear a thing. The worlds noise stopped the moment she felt him trip. She had used her last energy to fall down next to him and he looked like he had four centuries ago. Clad in his silver armour, daylight clutched across his chest. He even smiled at her when she kissed him one last time. Only this time she tasted the blood that clogged his throat and those blues eyes had opened to take her in one last time. Then they closed forever.

Just another moment, another heartbeat and she would follow him. She closed her eyes as she whispered her last line: "There rust... and let me die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really looking forward to the reactions to this. Not only because I tried to pack this with as many emotions as possible but also because this chapter is filled to the brim with a whole lot of some of my headcannons.
> 
> So let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters of this work don't follow a storyline but are connected with each other through a theme, namely: Claire being a clairvoyant.
> 
> The last chapter will be from Claire's POV.
> 
> Also: Since English is not my first language, I'd be happy for a beta reader! So you're wellcome to contact me if you're interested!


End file.
